Thursday, June 3, 2010

People are the worst

If you're a Seinfeld fan, you know what I mean by this title. Elaine, Jerry, George, and whoever else are sitting around talking, and one of them says, "I hate people." Then Jerry says something like, "Yeah, they're the worst." Sometimes that's how I feel, which I guess is progress, since I used to feel like that all the time. I used to dreamingly talk about moving to Montana and living in a place where I didn't have to see anyone but my family for days, weeks, months. I'm better about that now, believe me, but sometimes I feel like throat-punching people for their inane comments.

I took Audrey up to Matt's school yesterday, since it was the last day and he wanted to show her off to all his buddies at work. It was great; I got to see a lot of people I know, too, since I used to work in the same district. Everyone made a big fuss over her, which made me feel proud and all fuzzy inside. Since I stay at home, I don't see a lot of people on a day-to-day basis. Plus, it's just awesome to have people tell you how gorgeous and fabulous your little girl is. Who wouldn't want to hear that?

But of all the compliments we received, you would know that I'd focus on the off-handed negative comments. And they weren't even directed toward Audrey in particular. Most people kept talking about how happy and pleasant Audrey is, and she was really hamming it up yesterday, by the way. She was laughing, giggling, and showing off her dimples like crazy. She even waved for the first time, to someone she's never seen before (yeah, that chapped my hide a little, but it was so cute, I let it go).

But then there were those comments like, "Just wait 'til she's a teenager", or "Enjoy her now because she won't always be that happy." Well, no $hit, Sherlock. Really? Do you mean there will be a time when she won't let me kiss her all over her face, as much as I want, whenever I want? When she'll run into her room and slam her door because of an argument we've had? When she may even tell me she hates me? REALLY??? 

Let me just tell you. Every parent knows this, and especially one who's been a teacher for all her professional life. Teaching 8th graders for 10 years will just about kill you if you let it. I've had students who cussed me out on a regular basis, and I've also seen all manner of dysfunction in families that has led to some seriously troubled young people. Hell, it's happened in my own life.

So don't remind me of it. I know the comments were made in complete innocence, to be humorous, etc. I also know that some people say things like that to make you further appreciate your time with your baby, because we all know how fast they grow up (another comment I'm getting tired of hearing).

But you don't know me. You don't know that I'm trying to soak in every beautiful moment I have with my daughter, every. single. one. You don't know that I constantly feel guilty when I'm not engaging her in some way, even though my brain tells me that she needs time to herself, time to learn how to play independently. Don't you insinuate, even in a back-handed way, that I'm not trying to suck the marrow out of every day I have with her, because I know it could all be over in an instant. DON'T YOU DARE. Let me enjoy my baby, and go deal with your own crappy kids.


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