Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Day 17

Funny travel story

I think it was the year we got married, in 2007. David's parents had been going out of town for Christmas for a while, and they decided they were going to Curacao. Never heard of it? Nor had I. It's not a very well-known place, except maybe to divers (David's parents and brother all dive). If you'll look at the bottom left of this map, to the right of Aruba, there's Curacao.

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Hard to see, I know. I think the width of the island was 21 miles, and we were staying on the west end, at a place called Habitat.

I didn't want to be away from my family for Christmas. But David and I had just gotten married, and I figured we'd be doing every other Christmas away, since his parents liked to travel over the holidays.

It was the worst vacation of my life, for many reasons, ones I don't have the energy to write about now. And hey, this is supposed to be a funny travel story!

We landed at the airport, and it was very hot. I decided to get an oversize bottle of water and down it in just a few minutes. Bad idea.

Why? Because we got lost. David's dad had rented a car, and even though that island was tiny, we couldn't find the place to save our lives. It didn't help that there weren't even any road signs. I kid you not!

Well, that water hit my bladder and things got very uncomfortable, especially since we were on some unpaved, rocky roads. I whispered to David that I needed to go to the bathroom. He was sympathetic, but what could he do? It's not like there were gas stations and fast food restaurants on every corner, or even on ANY corner.

We did stop at one place, a single-wide trailer that seemed to be Curacao's version of a convenience store. I walked inside and immediately walked back out. The place was filthy, and there were no bathrooms to be seen.

After riding for a few more minutes, I made my condition known to all in the car. They couldn't do much about it, either. Finally, things got desperate; I was very close to urinating all over myself. Classy. So, David and I got out of the car (with him being my "shield" of sorts) and I went behind the bushes. Which were very sparse, by the way.

I was humiliated. It wouldn't be such a big deal now, but it was our first trip with his parents as a married couple. I shouldn't have had to pee in some scrub brush on a godforsaken island. That's not how most people picture the Caribbean, am I right?

After we climbed back in the car, David's dad found Habitat in less than ten minutes. Yes, you read that correctly. My advice? If you're going to Curacao, keep the lack of bathroom facilities in mind. Actually, if you're going to Curacao, I would suggest you cancel those plans. Like yesterday.


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