Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Girl, you are crazy (SIL, part 1)

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I never planned on blogging about this because it's too personal, too rough and too raw. Yes, I want my blog to be about my feelings, but I'm not going to use it to bash anyone. So I will try not to do that, but I'm not promising anything.

My brother, Noah, and my SIL have been married for about 10 years. I've known her for maybe 13 or more, since they dated and lived together for a while before that. SIL (I'm referring to her not by name, but by Bumpie logo because it's impersonal and removed, and that's how I feel about her) and I have had a rocky relationship over the years. Kind of a love/hate thing. She's really bossy, stubborn, and opinionated, and I'm really stubborn and opinionated, so you can see where we would clash.

But for the last few years, she's been my best friend. SIL has frequently driven me crazy due to her intense negativity, but she's gotten me through a divorce and tons of other stuff. I felt I could talk to her and not put on a "front", like she was a real sister.

Back in October of last year, SIL started acting strangely. She wasn't spending much time at home, hardly any at all. But both her grandmother and her mother were very ill at the time, so it made sense. Neither of them could drive, so SIL claimed she was doing lots of errands for them, taking her mom to doctor's appointments, etc.

Then she called me, out of the blue, in November. She told me she was planning to leave Noah. I'm not going into the details here, but let's just say I didn't blame her, and I didn't blame Noah, either. Their relationship had been going downhill for a long, long time, and everyone could see it coming. She was clearly asking how I would feel about it, and I told her I would support both her and Noah during a divorce.

I did say, however, that it would be nuts for her to move over near her family. They are a special brand of crazy, one that I can't even fully describe here. Suffice it to say, Noah wouldn't even let SIL's parents babysit my nieces because of the influences over there.

I said, "You know they're crazy", and then I waited for her to laugh. Like she normally did. Because how do I know her family is insane? Well, most of my information came from her, of course. She didn't respond at all. She only said that she was going to leave Noah after she got a job.

I figured, in this economy, that would take a while. SIL only has a high school degree, and she was a SAHM for years, with not much experience doing anything but relying on my brother for support. Bazinga.

I think she called me on a Thursday. Guess when she left him? The following Saturday. That's right. The girls went to their regular school that Monday, and by Tuesday, they were enrolled in their brand-new one. They were told about the move on Sunday, after being led to believe that they were just staying over at their grandmother's on Saturday night.

Hmmmm...wth? She told us all that she didn't plan this. Who the heck does she think she's kidding? She had a place to live (duplex), a brand-new cell phone unattached to Noah's plan, and she'd already arranged for furniture and appliances for her new place.

Oh, and did I mention I was about 38 weeks pregnant at the time?

to be continued...


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