Monday, August 23, 2010

And the "I couldn't care less" award goes to...

my family.

I fell again yesterday. I'm okay (don't panic, now), but it felt as if I'd dislocated my kneecap (patella?) for a few minutes. Hey, at least I didn't get a concussion this time, right?

The fall isn't really the point of this post, though. The point is that, when it happened, all of my immediate family were sitting in my den. You would think someone might come to my aid, right? Yeah, that's what NORMAL people might do. Here's a brief synopsis of what happened:

The family was over to go swimming yesterday. Everyone was in the foulest of moods, even my mom, who would usually have a smile plastered on her face even if she was sitting in a briar patch.

Here are Mom and Michael later at the pool, where you would think the Vitamin D would improve their dispositions. But you would be wrong. Case in point:

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Anyway, I open the front door to go outside with my niece to get her flip-flops. Our dog, T, chose this time to come barreling in the front door, almost knocking me over. Whatever, I'm used to that.

The problem is, he was on one of these leashes:

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which are really fabulous. Except, have you ever been burned on the legs by one of those as your dog goes running past? That thin part of the leash will sting like your grandma just took a switch to your legs. And yes, I would know.

In order to avert the burn on the backs of my legs, I quickly moved out of the way and slammed my knee into the door. Big mistake, since the burn would've been much better than the knee pain. I fell to the floor, writhing in pain. And y'all, I'm not a dramatic person. I'm the type that says, "Go ahead, I'm all right", if I get hurt.

Do you know what my family did? NOTHING. Audrey had woken up during my unfortunate accident, and they played with her. Matt came to my aid immediately, of course, but COME ON!

I lay there for about 10 minutes, trying to ascertain if I had dislocated my kneecap (if that's possible) or what. So, Noah had to go out the front door in the meantime, and he just stepped over me like I was a pile of crap on the floor. Seriously. He never even asked if I was okay. Then, someone threw him the truck keys, OVER MY BODY. What in the heck is going on here?

If any one of them had fallen, I would have been at their side in an instant! Good grief. I think even strangers would've paid more attention to me than they did. My mom finally came to see if she could get me some ice. Too little, too late, Mom, but thanks a lot.

And sorry, Noah, that my body was in your way when you were trying to get out the door. I could have sworn I heard you huff when you had to step over me. The nerve.

Grrrrr. My family has taken the leap from merely dysfunctional to seriously disturbed.


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