Thursday, December 8, 2011

I have no words

My brother, Owen, and my ex-SIL, Candy, are trying to reconcile. They've tried this before. It failed miserably.

I...well, I don't know what to think. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but this comes at a most inconvenient time. My 40th birthday is rapidly approaching and, amazingly, I don't feel depressed about it.

Owen's birthday is this week, so we're celebrating on Saturday. Mom warned me Candy might be there. This took me a few days to accept (okay, to be honest, I haven't really accepted it yet). Then I told Mom that I didn't want her at my birthday celebration, which we're doing the weekend after Owen's.

Although I'm trying to rise above my pettiness, I think I have the right to request that she not be there. I haven't seen her since the last time they tried to reconcile. She treats my nieces like crap. Katie recently told me she's scared of her. So, for her to be there on my birthday would make me absolutely uncomfortable. Not to mention David, who is extremely protective of me and doesn't have a lot of love to spare for Candy.

This birthday is a milestone for me. We're not having an elaborate party, just the family. I do not want my 40th birthday to be uncomfortable, especially when Candy may not be around even 40 days from now.

I'm trying to forgive, because I'm a Christian, and I know that's required of me. But I can't get past this. I understand that she'd be at Owen's birthday and :shudder: Christmas.

You wouldn't think she'd have the nerve to push Owen into pressuring me about this, though. But you'd be wrong. I found out, after Audrey's party, that Owen asked Mom if she could come to it, and he was angry when she said no.

So here's my dilemma. If my brother asks me if she can come to mine, what do I do? Tell him I've decided not to celebrate this year? Lie and say I'm going to Bora Bora? If we had the money, I wouldn't be opposed to dropping everything and going there, if it meant I could avoid her.

The real answer is...I'll have to allow it. Otherwise, there will be hard feelings. If I say I don't want to celebrate, my nieces (not to mention my mom) will not understand. Candy will then tell my nieces that I decided not to celebrate because I didn't want to invite her. No, she's not above that.

God help me. And if you made it through this post, God bless you.


Brianna said...

Oh dang, that's just not fair. It is YOUR birthday. Good for you for being the bigger person, but that really stinks. I'm sorry.

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