Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Play set

I've been wanting a play set for Audrey that she can use, one with a swing and a slide. I thought maybe Santa Claus could bring it, but then I decided that Santa couldn't afford it. Yikes. Those things are expensive.

My mom heard about a family whose house was being foreclosed, and they were selling lots of stuff. They were asking $75 for a play set. My mom bought it, sight unseen, mainly because she knew the family needed help.

And wow...was it ever dirty. Their back yard had a lot of good 'ole red Southern mud, and it showed. But my step-dad and Mom cleaned it up, and it looks pretty great. See?

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I did something stupid after they brought it here, though. I climbed to the top, went through the hole up there, and then proceeded down the slide with Audrey. Now, that might not be a big deal for a normal person, but for me? Major mistake. My muscles just can't handle that. When we got to the slide, I realized hips weren't going to fit. So I had to angle myself to the side so we could get down. Needless to say, after a crash landing at the bottom, I was seriously hurting.

It's just that, even after all these years, I sometimes can't get over my physical limitations. If I have a day when I'm feeling good, I'll end up doing something stupid like that and mess myself up again. Before the fibro, I was fairly athletic and would try just about anything. I was in excellent shape from Pilates and yoga. Now? I can't even make it through a prenatal yoga video.

Well, enough self-pity. David's mom and grandmother came over to visit yesterday, and they were playing outside with Audrey. His grandmother said, "Does Audrey have a friend that can come over and play with her?"

I immediately got defensive. I answered, "No, ma'am." Then she went on and on about what a shame that was, that David's mom had lots of friends to play with when she was growing up.

I wanted to say, "Listen up. There are days when I've struggled to get out of bed and take care of Audrey. I can't take her anywhere by myself without considerable pain. Do you think I have the energy to troll the neighborhood for friends?" I was soooo angry. I've feared that my fibro will isolate her from kids her own age, and here was someone pointing that out to me.

Aargh. She may not have meant it that way, but it was like a kick to my gut.


Brianna said...

I'm sorry she made you feel that way. You KNOW you are a great mom to Audrey. That playset is awesome, what a great deal!

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