Day 16

Cash, Debit, or Credit? What’s your financial status?

I always use my debit card, with one exception. My in-laws give me money every month for therapeutic massages (very sweet) and they give me cash.

My financial status? Well, that's personal and intrusive! I'm currently on disability, so we're doing okay. We rarely eat out, but it's not like we're suffering. I do kind of miss the old days when we were both teaching, since we didn't have to think about money that much. That doesn't mean I want to go back to work, though. I think I'm done with teaching.

Last day of summer vacation...

My two favorite people in the world.

Day 15

What's your addiction?

Normally, I'd say something food-related, but since I'm on a restricted diet (more details later), I don't want to think about food.

My addiction is comforters. If I had the money to waste, I'd have a different comforter for each season. Beautiful, deep colors for fall and winter, fresh, bright prints for spring and summer. Ah...just thinking about it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But seriously. I have been banned (by both David and myself, in an effort at self-control) from the comforter sections of any store. Which is hard, since Target has fabulous bedding and we're there every week. I have to walk right past them because they're near the baby. I had a weak moment on Saturday when I ventured over there, seeing if they still had the purple-flowered comforter I've been eying. (They did).

Right after Audrey was born, David gave me a beautiful, deep burgundy comforter with off-white trim and ornate stitching. It was dry clean only. Yeah, probably not the best idea when our newborn just came home five days before my birthday.

I absolutely loved it. It's on House; Cuddy has the same bedding. But of course you wouldn't know that, since you're not an addict like me. I've seen several of my comforters on TV and in movies over the years, which is my only claim to fame.

So where's this comforter now? In a bin somewhere, since it's way too thick for David, whose body temperature probably hovers around 100 degrees.

For now, I have a quilt on the bed that I really like. See for yourself:



I've had it for 10, maybe 15 years. But we have no coordinating sheets, shams, or throw pillows.

::Sigh:: What I'd give to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and immerse myself in the bedding section. Those beautiful beds on display, with their perfectly coordinated accents...pure heaven.

I know. I have a problem.

Day 14 of blog challenge

Thoughts on body image

I really don't want to write about this, but I guess that's why they call it a challenge. Here we go.

I've been blessed with a high metabolism for most of my life. In high school, all I ate was junk food. Recently, one of my good friends reminded me that I used to eat a whole can of Pringles every afternoon after school. Thanks, Jen!

So I didn't have to worry about my weight. I never even gained the dreaded "Freshman 15" because in Charleston, everyone bikes. I was in awesome shape back then.

But something happened, probably when I started weighing over 105 (which is absolutely ridiculous, I know), and I went nuts. It was during the fat-free craze, and I checked the fat on everything. I wouldn't get anything out of a vending machine because I couldn't see the fat content.

Then I got really sick when I was teaching. I'm not sure how much I gained, but it was probably just a little less than when I was pregnant. I was horrified.

When I got pregnant, I was determined not to gain a lot of weight. But I ended up gaining about 42 lbs. At every appointment, I was scared they were going to mention my weight and put me on a diet. Thank God they didn't.

I was scared to death that I wouldn't lose all the weight from the pregnancy. Eventually I did, but my body is now a different shape. It's taken me a while to accept it, but I think I finally have.

It terrifies me that I'll be raising a daughter in our culture. I think our society has become more tolerant of different body shapes than when I was younger, but there's still that pressure to be thin.

My 8-year-old niece, Katie, has recently been complaining that she's fat. And she is a tiny little girl. I really think this comes from her mother's struggle with weight; when she was still with my brother, she talked about how fat she was all the time. I am furious that my niece says she's fat. Really sick about it.



That's her on the left. Yeah, she really has a problem with weight, right? Please.

So, all I can do is be a good example for Audrey. I want to focus on her being healthy and not the number on a scale. I want her to be active, not a couch potato. Which is one more reason I have to beat this fibro, so I can be active with her. I still exercise, but it's about tai chi now and not vigorous workouts. That's better than nothing, though.

I'm going to be extra careful about what I say regarding weight as Audrey grows up. I secretly hope, though, that she inherits my high metabolism. I don't want her to worry about her weight, and I don't want to see her struggle with it. I don't want her to feel inferior because of society's pressure to be thin.

So, from now on, when I'm feeling fat, I'll share those thoughts with David. I won't examine myself in the mirror in front of Audrey, pointing out my flaws. I hope that's enough for her to develop a healthy body image.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Day 13 of blog challenge

Favorite photo of myself:

Obviously, I can't choose just one. So I'll go with a Before Audrey shot and an After Audrey shot.

Here is just one of the many photos I love from our wedding day. David had obviously already ditched his tux jacket (it was soooo hot).



I liked that our photographer took some "fun" shots instead of everything being so stuffy and boring.

And here's one after we got home from the hospital with Audrey.



You can't see her face very well, but I think that David and I are positively glowing.

I'm surprised I was able to narrow it down to two. When I was looking for these pics, I came across all the ones of Audrey as a newborn. David and I looked at them, alternately getting teary-eyed and laughing. Such treasured memories.

30 day blog challenge...but not really

My friend Bri over at Life's Better the Milky Way (wonderful blog, by the way), is participating in a 30-day blog challenge. Well, I've been on vacation and in the middle of other things, but I think I'll start today. Just a little...ahem...late.

Day 12...I really need to get rid of:

the knee-highs and pantyhose I used to wear to work. I think this says a lot about my age, but oh well. When I was teaching, I wore them all the time. But now, I have no need for them. They're just hanging in a bag in my closet, taking up space. Hopefully, I won't be needing them anytime soon, since I love my day job that doesn't require certain clothes:)

But I wonder if I should keep them? Do people even wear them anymore? I mean, obviously not in the summer, unless it's required or it's very cold at your place of work. Who knows? My sense of fashion is somewhat quite limited.

Unless I hear a compelling argument, say goodbye, knee-highs! And, oh pantyhose, I hope I never have to wear you again, you evil garment of torture.

I'm back!

Oh blog, how I've missed you! I've been itching to write, but life has gotten in the way. My health has been bad, very bad; thank God that David's been home to take up the slack with Audrey. My Google account also changed somehow, and I suddenly needed a new email account and password. David set all that up for me, but I never remembered to ask him for the user ID and password. Well, I did, but I always remembered when David wasn't here. Darn fibrofog!

We just got back from the beach, which was kind of a fail. We went with my family, and there was a lot of tension because of circumstances back at home, and my nieces fought so much they made me crazy. I actually cursed in front of them one day. Don't worry, I apologized profusely for it. But my word, they fight about EVERYTHING.

So we came home early. David has a lot to do here at home, working on his Masters class and getting his room ready at school. He has to go back on Tuesday (shudder).

We only went on the beach two days, but I guess that's more than some people get, so I'm trying not to be bitter. Audrey was usually the brightest part of everyone's day, so I'm thankful for that. Love that little girl.